I've sort of been surrounded by a lot of death these past few years. A co-worker, a good friend, a cousin, a family friend (and her brother- AND son-in law), another co-worker, my grandmother, another friend, an aunt, my grandfather.....that's just all I can remember right now.
I think that's been the reason for my funk of late. I've just been pushing through life and not reallly living it.
Yesterday I got to babysit for my friend's little boy and I just felt like my whole day got painted in bright and shimmering colors.
It's really weird to realize that I thought I was living life before, but, in reality life was just sort of leading me through a series of hoops that I thought I needed to jump through. In other words, I was just surviving.
And yet, I laughed, I hung out with friends, I made new friends, I continued to pray and be thankful. But my heart was really bitter because it was full of grief and anger. I can usually sense those feelings and work myself out of them, but this time it crept upon me in an unfamiliar way. In a pit of grief so deep, but, at the same time, comforting.
So now I'm taking some time to bring the technicolor back into my world (and Meadow - Antonio Banderas might just do the trick!:lol:) I'll let you know how that goes.
10.30.05 (10:27 am)
Let My Heart Get Phunked With [edit]
posted by: Meadow (reply)
post date: 10.31.05 (5:57 am)
of course, Antonio can suspend time and wisk you away to the land of Spanish purrfection ;) Some great lines in this new movie and the horse, OMG! you will laugh!
Thought you might like to read Ralph's message from today :) He can really open your eyes to the potential for life and embracing it with his words.
Allow the feelings
Feelings come and feelings go. There is no need to fear them and no need to crave them.
Be open to your feelings and experience them while they are here. Then be open to the feelings that will come next.
Your feelings are a part of your experience. Yet no mere feeling, however intense it may seem, is your permanent reality.
Are you holding yourself back in an attempt to avoid a particular feeling? Or are you clinging so tightly to an old, faded feeling that you miss out on much of what life now offers?
Allow the feelings to come and then allow them to go. When you let the feelings flow naturally and gracefully through your life, they become more valuable, useful, instructive and fulfilling.
Seek to let your feelings be and then to let your feelings go. Fully experience life as it touches you, and you will grow richer with each moment.
-- Ralph Marston
http://www.greatday.com
